Life is Fiction - How messing around with weapons in Angola can help chairing a Department of Spanish Philology

These days I received a visit from some Spaniard friends of mine. They're traveling around the region and - as usual when friends of friends are involved - me and Federica are providing logistic and gastronomic support for what is in our power.

On Tuesday we had dinner together with some Kyrgyz friends and a German journalist in a restaurant with good food and ill-mannered waitresses.

We spoke a lot about countries in Central Asia, especially about Kyrgyzstan and - most of all - Uzbekistan.

One of this Spaniards has an insane interest towards soviet history and knows a huge amount of paradoxical anecdotes about that period, but all these stories were nothing compared to some people he met in Tashkent.


In particular, the story of the Director of the Department of Spanish Philology at the Uzbek National University deserves a special nomination for the most absurd story ever.

This man is universally called Don Camillo and for an Italian this name already sounds hilarious (check out why).

Apparently, Don Camillo doesn't know Spanish, but Portuguese. Now, an Uzbek speaking Spanish sounds weird, but Portuguese is a pure joke.

Why a Portuguese speaker has been appointed as Director of the Department of Spanish Philology?

And - most of all - why there's a Department of Spanish Philology in a xenophobic country with no relationships whatsoever with Spain?

Story tells that in the early sixties Che Guevara landed in Tashkent (at that time still under "virtual" control of the USSR) during a general visit in Russian territory. There he met Khrushchev and together decided to open a Spanish cultural center in town. The foundations for a Faculty of Spanish Philology were then laid.

The following problem was to find someone loyal to Soviet authorities but belonging to Uzbek ethnic group who knew Spanish as to appoint him as Director.

After few years, Don Camillo was picked out.

At that time, he was selling off weapons to revolutionaries in Angola and he gained respect and trust after they won the conflict. He returned to USSR as a hero and was appointed as Director of this Faculty notwithstanding the fact he was barely speaking Portuguese and had no knowledge of Spanish language.

As far as we know he's still today in charge, entering classroom and insulting students in a dreadful mixture of Spanish, Portuguese, Russian and Uzbek.

Needless to say, the level of knowledge of Spanish language in Uzbekistan is totally depressing.

If you think this is totally nonsensical, you still have to learn a lot about Central Asia...